The Dongola Times

(Anachronistic) Dispatches from the Kingdom of Makuria.
26th of June, 2014

“Embiggens”: the Joke is on the NPP

One more problem for the New Perspective on Paul to deal with: In the description of the “Ultimate Status Bar” on the Safari browser’s extensions page, there is a word that is quite valid modern English, used with calm assuredness, but basically a neologism. The reason it is used freely, though, is because it represents a slight extension of Internet English, which is the “Koine Greek” of our times.

The word is “embiggens”. This extension apparently “embiggens shortened URLs.” I am yet to see a grammar of Koine Greek that acknowledges the ease with which these things occur in languages like Greek—especially that rude Koine Greek—and English—especially this live, global, Facebooking, Tweeting Internet English.

Have you noticed how American English is far more agglutinative than English? “Keyboard,” not “key board”, or at least “key-board.” Well, Internet English threatens to build that into some weird “spacebarphobic” phenomenon. (Not “space bar phobic”, or at least “space-bar-phobic.” But that would have to be over my dead body.) Imagine how much fun the future NPP-like people would have with these scriptures, with agglutinated “embiggen”ings.

I am going to install “The Ultimate State Bar.”